non posso crederlo

I can't believe it! I'm happyyy!! Lol
Ok soo in reality I shouldn't be happy. Like I did some stupid shit and got the response that I knew I would get and I should be sad but for some reason I am soooo happy. I got home and just got in an "I'm good" mood and then my sister came home in a really good mood and that put me in a really good mood as well. And then vidivel texting me odhee tipsy its sooo funny.

But yea the reason why I had to take the time out to make this a blog is that I was showering and I was tryna figure out why I was sooo happyy and I couldn't pin point a reason. And that made me even happier.
Cuz its not like all the other times when something good happens so I get happy, basically conditional happiness. This wasn't that I'm just happy and its an amazing feeling. idk how it happened nor why and idc either I love god for making this happen ahhhhhh xD!! Ok I'm gone!

~till next time

Nada es para siempre!!

So i was listening to music and nada es para siempre by luis fonsi came on (beautiful song by beautiful person lol). nada es para siempre means nothing lasts forever. it made me think a lot.

Obviously material things like money and clothes and tvs and cell phones and all of that arent forever. and i know life isnt forever obviously. but sometimes its reallyy hard to think that some emotions arent forever. like the sadness and loneliness that ive been feeling for soo long doesnt seem to ever end. I keep tryna just pretend to be happy and maybe ill just get happy but that definitely hasnt been happening. ive just maybe stopped being sad for a little while and then ill go back to being sad. FML much? YES.

ive also been talking to my friend sarah & she said something that got me thinking. she said how her ex changed her and like how she goes into talking to guys. and i started thinking of how i dont trust that any guy is serious about me because of so many guys have played games with me. now why do we give people the power to change us? and why is it so easy for them to change us but so hard for us to change ourselves back? or change ourselves period? GRR why must everything be so complicated? why cant we just be happy?

soo speaking of that i figured out my new years resolution. its going to be sooo hard but idc its the only serious resolution ive ever made and i REALLY wanna try to do it. It's to be happy!...atleast to be happy more times than i am sad.

oh and just to let you guys knoww... theres a very good chance that ill be getting my tattoo tomorrow!! if it turns out that i have enough money its a wrappp!! lol kk im out. ciao (had to add some italian somewhere =D)

~till next time

Un bell giorno

ok so I should be doing dishes right now but i think the better thing to be doing is to blog about my day. SO i definitely got an excellent amount of sleep last night (like 10 hours?) and woke up in a great mood. people (and by people you know i mean the person who matters at the moment lol) were (was) being flirty today which of course kept my mood up there*. then 3rd period i check myhofstra and I GOT ACCEPTED. yes that is my safety but it still felt really good being accepted somewhere. i feel like im actually getting somewhere in life and im actually gonna be the 1st 1 in my family to go to college. then the rest of the school day was pretty ok. then we stepped afterschool and it SUCKED ASS!! but w.e we just laughed it off cuz thats how we roll lol. SO i go home to find what...
a letter from fordham. and by letter i mean a big envelope. i start getting gassed but i had seen on common app that i wouldnt find out my result for fordham till dec.25th so w/e i open it thinking watch it be a pamphlet or someshyt but then it wasnt. I GOT ACCEPTED there too. so yea im veryy happyy =]

*sidenote: aww i miss my wifers amy <3 dique "my spanish is up there. you see it? lol!

~till next time

un giorno di pensare

So I definitely did not think i'd be blogging again this quickly lol. But w.e.

So before I go into what this blog is about I must say that I absolutely LOVE the cast of my school play Alice in Wonderland. My birthday is 2 days from today aka dec.1st and they started talking about doing something for me since we have rehearsal till 9 o clock that day but they forgot that I was in the messagd too so I was seeing what they were talking about lol. But it made me smile odhee. They were like acknowledging that I don't like chocolate and they were talking about how I love oatmeal cookies which made me smile odhee cuz they remember what I've said. Lol w.e I love it it was soo cute.

So today my mom was talking about sex and w.e and she was saying that she just wants me to lose my virginity to someone that I really love and not something that I'm forced into it etc. So it got me to thinking about like why everyone mkes such a big deal about losing their virginity. I mean its not like you're really giving something to the other person. Its really all in our heads. Your virginity is worth only what you make it worth. So if you look at your virginity the same way you look at regular sex then its not really that big of a deal. So I came to the conclusion that the only thing that is important isn't your virginity its all about "having pride in your vajayjay" (as said by my moms friend lol) and not just fucking any random guys that come around. So I'm very happy that despite the fact that I've had the chance to have sex with various guys I haven't because I value my vagina thank you very much lol. And even though I'm not a virgin anymore I'm glad that I gave it to someone I can trust and I've known for veryy long. And even though were not together I still don't regret it. I think that's the biggest point not regretting it!

~till next time =)

Ho ritornato

So i havent blogged in a reallllly long time so i thought i should come back and keep my readers (mostly vidi) updated.

soo last time i blogged i told you guys about our school doing Alice in Wonderland.

Well we are and i auditioned and I am Alice's Sister and The Duchess. I'm really excited because this is something I've been wanting to do since like forever. I love acting and I'm finally getting a chance to be in a play. I'm also excited because the cast is mad fun and we've definitely been having some fun times at rehearsal and going out to eat afterwards "well i'd fuck spongebob because you know unlimited options ;]". lmfaoo wow i really am loving cast it's actually turned out to be true what people say that your cast becomes like another family. <3 But i am not looking forward to staying till 9 pm everyday for the next 3 weeks -___-. which includes my bday . DEC. 1ST!! =]

I also told you about quitting my job. Im so glad i did that because I would literally be going crazyyy with stress right now. Now i work at Kumon, a tutoring center but only for math and reading, wednesdays and saturdays. Its ok i get bored sometimes but whatever i need the money.

Senior year is.... going.
Ive been kinda stressed about college apps and scholarship apps and now CSS profile =/ ughhh sometimes i just dont even want to apply to friggin college. this is sooo much work. But i cant wait till dec. 15th when i know if i got into FORDHAM, HOFSTRA, and SUNY ALBANY and then NORTHEASTERN on DEC.30th =O. ill definitely let you guys know what ends up happening with those schools.

We just had homecoming on wednesday. It was fun i was really happy to see some of my 09ers =]. I def. miss having some of them around but i also love being at the top right now=] SEN10RS! I also was told by this guy that he likes me or w.e but i dont like him which pisses me off. Like theres finally someone that likes me but i dont frikkin want him. Way to go Cindy -__-. W.e. who i do want is this other kid from my school (shocker lol). Hes not really cute but hes soo nice, and cool and he def. knows how to keep me entertained and laughing =]. so wish me luck with that.

ive also stopped talking with people on my block. I just dont want to deal with the fakeness. and honestly everything has been going sooo much better since i stopped talking to them.

omg and ive finally decided what my first tattoo is gonna say. its gonna say "Lascio tutto nelle mani di Dio." translating to "I leave it all in God's hands"

ok so this is an extremely long post. hope you guys enjoy.

~till next time

Una notte di bella piove

a night of beautiful rain

soo i realize that the last time i blogged way veryy long ago so ill do a quick catching up.

so i went and visited my twin and we had fun. we ate ice cream =) and we talked and we ate her grandmas food. & i didnt even run into her mother who hates me. i think that all sums up to a pretty good day =]

i partied alot the rest of the summer lol =]

also from when i came back from dartmouth i was talking to this kid who i def. have history with & can't seem to get over =/ he's just soo cute lol. not physically but when we talk. well physically too ;] lol. but now skools back so its like distance & gay & ugh. grr.


so i found out that some ppl that i believed in some of the things they told me lied. & now shyt has spread & w.e idc anymore. i obv. made some mistakes but i learn from it all. def. not making those mistakes again lol. & i wish ppl wud just say w.e they have 2 say to ppls face & thats it leave it @ that. i dont understand why ppl waste their time talking about others. i think thats giving the person/people being talked about wayyy too much importance.

but w.e anyways i started my senior year =O. def. miss having josh around in homeroom. i guess that feeling will never leave though. i keep thinking about him lately. i hope thats a good thing. We had freshman friday & that was kinda fun. def. not like last year but it was iight. I really liked my t-shirt though =].

i quit my job. i couldnt do it anymore. but i have another job on wednesdays & im tryna get 1 for weekends. wish me luck on that.

oh and were gonna be doing alice in wonderland as the school play. so wish me luck on the auditions =]

& wish me luck in life and everything i try and definitely in boys lol.

~till next time.

una notte molto pazza

ok so first i should explain all the italian titles. I love italian. point blank. lolz i also love italians. and greeks =). but yea i take itlaian in school and i love the language. i am not italian im dominican & i love my culture but italian sometimes sounds cooler than spanish.

I also did this three day workshop with an organization called revolucion latina. It was amazing! it was a performing arts workshop so we danced and sang and acted. I loved it. Anyone interested in performing arts should definitely go to their website Revolucionlatina.org they are awesome. just words cant even describe it.

oh i also went jet skiing yesterday for the first time ever. It was so much fun i now want to buy a jet skii! theyre SO cool lol.

so thats pretty much been my life since the last post. tomorrow imma see my twin whom i havent seen in like forever so that should be lots of fun. =]

~till next time

La Prima Volta

ok so first of all i just wanna say that this blog is all Vidi's fault. i was not planning on making a blog but she had to come and convince me for idk what reason. But it's ok cause i do love her =].

so my first blog ever! =O haha i find this funny.

So i just got back from this AMAZING summer business program called LEAD at Dartmouth. It was the most amazing experience of my LIFE. I spent 3 weeks over there meeting some pretty awesome people. i met people from Puerto Rico (like live in PR), Arizona, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Oregon, Cali, D.C, Maryland, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Florida, Illinois, Georgia, etc. etc. the list goes on. I met Native Americans for the first time. They were soo coool. Like this one girl Carol she was amazing and so adorable. we got pretty close. And she gave me this really cute Navajo bracelet, (yes she is navajo. shes also part spanish and mexican). Yea i really got along with the Natives. I also met other minorities (as in Black and Hispanic). During the program we learned about business like marketing, finance, accounting, hedge funds, stocks, investment banking, etc. etc. I actually really liked it. Now i think that when i "grow up" i want to work at Goldman Sachs (its an investment bank for very rich people).

We also went to Six Flags and I rode the Bizzaro =O. It was SO much fun. I loved it. We even went on a ropes course and it was my first time. It was kinda scary but still a lot of fun. And then there was the shopping, going into town, the eating for free =] at really good dining halls, playing pool, partying in the basement, and just chilling. I personally LOVED it and i would reccomend it to everyone.

Ok so the last couple of days at LEAD i was sad to be leaving but I was also kind of excited to come back home. Now i wonder why on earth i was excited. I got back on Saturday because i decided that i wasnt going to stay at my uncles in MA. That was the day of my block party. I got back home like around 8 ish and i was greeted soo warmly. I loved it. So yea we ate and listened to music and then my sister Nioby and i left and went to some other party with her friend Chachi who i personally LOVE. And then some guys from their old school came and then we went to another party which was also mad fun. Then we came home and fell asleep at like 5 am =).

So that brings us up to today. I was woken up by my brother who was selling the phone he lent me. Then i went back to sleep. I reawoke at 3 ish. That was when it really hit me that i was officially phoneless. I dont know why but that put me sooo down. It wasnt like i wanted to cry, because i really think that i have no tears left inside me, but i was just incredibly sad. I ate against my own stomachs will, and i slept throughout the rest of the day. At around 12 i was woken up by my moms cousin pounding on my apt. door, & my mom was f****** sleeping. So i let him pound till he got tired and left. Then i went to my brothers room and got on facebook and let everyone know that i was sadly phoneless. Again i got sad. Then i started talking to people on meebo's aim and i got a little bit happier

I think ill stop now because that's definitely extremely long for my first post, but i just had to get all that out on paper or in this case , blog, so that itll hopefully leave my mind. Atleast for tonight.

~ till next time